Thursday, June 08, 2006

why?

my blog visit numbers are way down. and i am forced to ask myself, "why?"

possible answers include...

#1 my updates have become sporadic at best. folks have given up on me.

#2 there are so many other blogs to read and sometimes we must make a choice about how we spend our time.

#3 it's summer and my regular readers are busy gardening, walking, playing tennis, etc.

#4 i'm not very interesting anymore.

i know that #1 is the most likely, but i feel #4 most acutely.

once again i am caught in the game of examining why and how i blog. a few months ago i decided that this forum was too public to share some parts of my life. someone from my past had found my blog. not that this person was weird or a stalker or anything. it just drove home in a bold manner how vulnerable this medium can make a person. somewhere in the back of my mind i KNEW that anyone on the entire planet with access to the internet could find me if they wanted to, but i also subconsciously rationalized that only folks who i knew and loved would be checking in here. the entire experience freaked me the hell out, to be honest (those of you who know me, know i excel a bit at the freak out) and i didn't like feeling that way. so i dialed back on my entries and felt quite put-out by having to do that, even though it was my own choice. now, i feel the strain of wanting to share more and can't muster the courage on some days to do so. that's why you've seen more pics here and less words.

i'm coming up on my one year blog-iversary (july 1) so i'll be deciding in the next few weeks if i'll continue posting to this forum or if my experiment has been exhausted. if you have an opinion, good, bad or otherwise, feel free to weigh in.

and now for a pretty picture of pansies from the missouri botanical garden.

4 comments:

MB Shaw said...

Hey sweetie,
I feel like people are just busier in the summer and spending less time on the computer. I haven't been writing as much either. It's just hard when you have a lot going on and I struggle with the "why do I blog" issues just as you do. Y
You (and your blog) add value to my life. Just be sure you are doing it on your own terms though; be true to yourself.

Karyl said...

Heidi! #1, but we've not given up. NEVER #4!

Deirdre said...

My web_log has alwys been an experiment. You learn a lot about me from it but it is not everything to know about me. I put those things that are comfortable to share. I had a blog that no one knew about. No one read it. I never told anyone it was there. It was the fact of writing it our and pressing the send button. That point is past and I no longer use it. You do what is best for you. Why some people take the time to leave pissy comments is an amazement to me.
Hang and do what is best for you!

Becky said...

i like your pansies- i am sort of starting to poop out on the blog thing too- i mean really! look at my last entry- i copped a really long word from a-word-a-day! i think people really are busy- and this takes time- not just the scanning and the making but the trolling and the reading- then you have spent an hour or two and you are left with that eh feeling- i think it will come to you whether or not you should continue- or stop for a while and see if you miss it! love and XXX