logorrhea of the typing fingers...

high school etymology class didn't help me on my S.A.T.s, but it did give me a lifelong appreciation for the word "logorrhea."

the teacher would drawl at a student guilty of talking during class, "mr. smith, are you suffering from log-o-rrhea?"

the offender would invariably not know the meaning of her question and offer her a, "huh?"

"are you suffering from diarrhea of the mouth?" she would counter.

sheepish, now, was the side-talker, and giggles filled the classroom every time.

there are days when i feel my blog is suffering from diarrhea of the typing fingers. in an effort to write an entry a day, i'm afraid i often overstep the unwritten rules of self-protection. some would argue it is better to keep things to oneself than to spread our experiences out to the world to be examined and commented on. of course, i belong to the school of thought that the life unexamined is not worth living. some would argue, though, that this school of thought refers to inner examination. so there is a razor's edge to tread here in blog-land.

for example, i haven't shared my south beach diet plans with anyone at my office, but i did write about it here. so, conceptually, at least, i told the entire world (or at least those with internet access). what is it about this space that made me feel comfortable enough to write about what i couldn't verbalize? is it like picking your nose in the car while driving down the road? you imagine you're in an impenetrable fortress and that no one can see you--when in reality all that separates you from the world is a sheet of 1/4 inch glass?

okay, here's a better example...the people on reality tv shows. i sit there on the couch and think, "forever after, this person is going to be known as 'that guy who _______-ed on that reality show.'" how do i want to be remembered? like the typo i made in the e-mail i wrote about...maybe i want to write a piece of mind so i can gain peace of mind.

thank you all to those who help me toward that goal.

social commentary...

what does it mean? my entry below re: south beach diet, generated the most comments (both public and private) of any entry in queen for a day's short bloggy history?

what a view...

last night we accompanied our good friends to hermann, missouri for an excellent evening of delicious food, music and dancing.

we ate at a lovely, secluded hilltop restaurant, the cottage. the poached salmon was light. dear husband's prime rib was tasty too. the cottage is also home to an adjacent art gallery, but we were too late to see what they had to offer. save that treat for next time.

then we were off to stone hill winery for the big band dance featuring the blue knights. the pavilion was decorated with a million twinkle lights and white tulle. the effective was fairy tale magical. kelly and i danced the polka, waltzed, tangoed and even got on the floor to a swing number or two. the weather was hawaii perfect, with a slight breeze blowing in from the valley and cooling the dancers off after each number.

on the way home, kelly (our designated driver) pulled off to the side of the road so we could stargaze. awe-inspiring stuff! saw mars--last night it was at its closest point to earth. the war planet so close to ours could mean something...or not. and we could see a band of the milky way. i've only seen the milky way two other times in my life. once was on a mission trip to jamaica in 1980 and the stars seemed to be carpeting the ceiling above me and the other was on a family vacation to fox springs lodge in cuba, missouri. it never fails to make me feel small but part of something big and powerful.

it was a very special evening. i hope to do it again next year.

poetry?

here's what's on our magnetic poetry board today:

#1 (written in march 2004 by a bunch of 8th grade boys)
how come a performer drunk on sex
will stroke with fiery passion and rigid
approach but never imagine some
glorious angel

#2 (by my dear husband)
smear the psychedelic scream like a nude
silhouette empty as the canvas

#3 (by me)
why must we draw scuplt write
to capture art like lifes mad drug

#4 (me again)
you make music using an absurd metal & wood cigarette
you creat this wild rhythm sculpture
welding pad and scale
chisel that metaphor song
--to honor nathaniel's amazing skillz on the clarinet

no fruit? no kiddin'...

in exactly three weeks i have an event that i must look fabulous for. since my surgery in december, the docs had warned me off exercise for fear of injuring my incision site. as of last friday, i have been given the okay to work out again (nothing too strenuous and only the lightest ab work...sigh). so i need to get fitter by the 17th of september and look drop dead gorgeous in a sleeveless shift.

anybody out there on the south beach? i've been thinking of going on phase 1 to drop a quick ten pounds. of course, aided by daily cardiovascular exercise and a bit of light weight work. i know two folks that are on the south beach diet and have had great results.

when i think of all the white sugar and empty carbs i consume each day, i wonder what could fill that void...coffeemate and sugar in the coffee--gone, blueberry yogurt with granola--gone, pb & j sandwich--gone, sweet potato chips--gone, applesauce--gone. the only item on my daily menu that would stay would be my raw almonds.

as i re-read the list above, i realize my daily intake reads like a daycare menu...

two years ago i lost 70 pounds through diet and exercise. i worked out strenuously for over an hour every day. i've only gained back 15 pounds of that weight and i think most of that is due to the surgery and the enforced sedentary lifestyle (could also be attributable to the candy coffee i gulp down by the gallon!). but the exercise option is not available to me now. yoga was wonderful and made me feel lean and long and lithe. is walking two miles in the evenings going to help me get down to my fighting weight? that's why i'm contemplating going on south beach. just looking for some folks who might have some insight into the program...how doable it is and will i really see results in three weeks? that is to say, will my shift dress not hit any rough patches as it heads down my body to the hemline?

a shout out to my home girls...

the connections i have made and the stronger bonds i have built as a result of this blog are a blessing to me! what an amazing communication tool it has proven to be.

i made these tiny trading cards last night to commemorate some newer friendships...the watercolor backgrounds i received in a swap and, for the life of me, i cannot remember the artist's name from whom i received them. when i recall the name, i'll give proper credit.

i also made some wonderful pink tags in the same vein, but the scanner doesn't seem to like them. those will go to good homes too!

i'm blushing...

about a week ago, i sent an e-mail to an old friend in hopes of bringing some closure to an issue that has been in my mental "pending" file for 20 years. i've been trying to tidy up my cranial space in the interest of 40-year old housekeeping. i didn't really expect to receive a response, and i haven't so this person is remaining true to form.

anyway, i was re-reading the sent e-mail this morning, just to touch on it one more time before hitting "delete" and flushing the unfinished business down the drain for all eternity when i noticed it...the typo.

i wanted this person to know that insights from their perspective would help me have PEACE of mind. what i typed was PIECE of mind. of course, the spell check neglected to point out that i am an IDIOT!

of course, now i want to send an addendum to the original e-mail, but am thinking that borders on the stalker-ish.

just let it lie...that's my motto--let it lie. (or is that lye?)

phewww...

just got home from the oncologist's office.

everything is great. just as i knew it would be {wink wink}. my blood work and test results all came back "pristine" (that's the word my doctor used).

thanks to everyone near and far who held me in their heart today and sent prayers and good wishes my way. they worked. you are all miracle workers!

450 hits...

is that a lot of hits for a blog? i added the counter after i'd already started the blog just because i wanted to know if there would be enough traffic to the site to warrant adding a sister-blog for selling my jewelry.

450 seems like a big number to me, but of course, all of those are not unique viewers, but the actual number of times anyone opens my page.

hmmm, it's all very complicated. anyone else out there know what a fair number of hits is to a blog that you can't get to by googling "queen for a day?" (because i've never registered my blog with google.)

does this count as the webworlds most boring entry or what?

a favor to ask...

i've been introverted this week. friday is my first real post-cancer check-in with my oncologist. for the next 4-1/2 years i'll alternate colonoscopies and blood tests every six months.

yesterday i had my blood drawn. the lady at the window of the lab asked me, what i thought sounded like, "porterarm?" i said, "excuse me?" again, "porterarm?" it really sounded like one long word. after about three such exchanges, she said very deliberately, "do you have a port or do we take the blood from your arm?" ohhhhhh...now i get it. "ARM!" i nearly shouted. next time, i'll know better and be prepared.

so, the waiting game is on again. the favor i have to ask is this...please just think about me on friday at 1 p.m. central time and send some good thoughts my way. i KNOW that everything is going to be 100% great, but it never hurts to have lots of well-wishers in your corner backing you up.

the best part is i get to show my negative MRI results to my fun, funny, optimistic oncologist, dr. klix. as an over-achiever, i love to get praise for doing well on a test...any test. friday will be no exception!

15 is a magic number...

15 is a magic number to me...

does anyone remember school house rock/multiplication rock ditties? well, three is a magic number ("a man and a woman had a little baby")!

and five is my number...some numerology thing i've hung unto for years.

so 15 holds a special place in my heart.

kelly and i were married on the 15th. nathaniel is 15 this year.

i made the above envelope book for nathaniel this year to send to him while he was at camp--for TWO weeks, people. i had a lot of time on my hands to craft meaningful mailbag items for my one and only son. unfortunately, it made him homesick. good to know, though, that he is still able to feel homesick for us even though he's growing up.

got you on my mind...

happy 18th anniversary, baby! even then you were a looker!

(that's me on the left, kelly's on the right!)

they're back...

the headaches, that is.

i blame the august heat and humidity and lack of rain for them this time. of course, it could be hormones, or lack of sleep, or caffeine or any number of things. in any case, today i am home under the air conditioning and plan on staying here until summer cabin fever kicks in.

5...4...3...2...1...there--it's here too. must get out into the day and make something of myself. advil, here i come!

housewifery...

last night, in honor of my sweetie's 43rd birthday, i made him his favorite dinner--fried chicken and fried potatoes. when we were dating, i made this for dinner a lot. that means i made it approximately 4 times in the span of our 18-month courtship. in the subsequent almost eighteen years of marriage, i've probably prepared it 4 times. i can't really attribute the attrition rate in my preparation schedule to anything in particular, but the following seem logical, some may seem cruel, but most are just funny:

• by the time we were married, i was tired of the cutting, chopping, flouring, frying, splattering mess of this meal,
• i figured, he had married me...i could quit it with all the impressive cooking stunts already,
• i didn't want my skinny husband to end up a fat lump on the couch,
• i don't really like fried chicken,
• can anyone say cholesterol? (i forgot to mention the fried potatoes are made with bacon grease!)

the whole thing reminded me of my best friend in high school, suzy gerard, and the wise words her mother imparted on all the girls that entered her house.

when the young mrs. gerard was first married, every day she would bake a loaf of bread. each evening her newlywed husband would arrive from a hard day at the office to the aroma of a warm loaf waiting on the dinner table. one day, about six months after their wedding day, mrs. gerard, for one reason or another, did not bake the bread. that night her husband came home and smelled no awaiting loaf. he approached the kitchen and worried to himself if, perhaps, mrs. gerard had been the victim of an intruder, as he could detect no baking smells emanating from the kitchen. there at the kitchen table sat the young mrs. gerard, reading the evening newspaper. mr. gerard was in a huff, "but what about the bread?" he asked in a powerful tone. "i didn't make any today," was her simple reply, and she returned her gaze to the newspaper. the spell had been broken. mr. gerard came to expect the bread. mrs. gerard came to resent preparing it. hence, the special-ness of the simple act of baking a loaf of bread had vanished. mrs. gerard would tell each girl that heard her tale, "don't set expectations too high in the beginning. you're setting yourself up to fail."

maybe i should have started off the courtship with meatloaf...i make terrible meatloaf.

home again, home again, jiggedy, jig...

on saturday, my son returned home from 2 weeks at camp. as usual, he appeared to have grown a solid foot taller (which would make him over 7 feet tall!), his hair was sun-bleached to a beach bum dark honey and his skin was bear brown. his hug felt so warm and welcoming.

the three of us spent the car ride home talking about everything he experienced, did, said and thought about for the two weeks. we fell back into conversation as if just a moment had passed, not a fortnight.

i'm a worrier and therefore, i've spent a goodly portion of these last two weeks with a nagging lump in my throat, a tightness in my lower back and some nights a bit sleep-deprived. i, of course, have no reason to worry. none of my dedication to worrying has ever reaped any reward. nothing comes of worry. this i know. but still, it is such a huge part of who i am, i am wont to abandon this tendency. i could, however, probably build a new house with my own two hands with the energy i have devoted to this task throughout the years.

i have been known to work myself into such a lather on the car ride between my office and our house, that i ultimately squeal into the driveway at home and rush through the front door panting a breathless, "is everything okay?!" only to be met with two doe eyed couch sitters uttering whisper-y, "yes and why are you in such a state?" i have no reply.

on saturday night i slept the sleep of the dead. on sunday morning i woke up at 10:30 a.m. (anyone who knows me will tell you, that in my world, that is unheard of). my baby was home, asleep in his bed, and my worrying (for one day) could be done.

guilty vs. pleasures...

how hard is it to not feel self-centered when you're a blogger? the "me-me" song is a bit tired, huh?

on a non-self-centered note...sarah fishburn is funny, talented, open, generous and, did i already mention, funny? i got the opportunity to meet her yesterday at red lead (the fabu art store here in "the lou"). she did a quick, humorous demo, that, by the way, filled me with inspiration for a project i had been mulling over. she also signed copies of the book "true colors" to which she was a contributor. my afternoon off from the office was well worth the spent vacation time! thanks to the red lead gals for having sarah in from colorado!

my next undertaking is procuring a scanner because the sincere lack of posted art on this here blog is pitiful and woefully non-visually stimulating. not to mention, it hasn't spurned me on to create anything new and fantastic...which is sort of what i was hoping it would do. that's to say, i am largely motivated by guilt.

elvis has left the city...

we went to see elvis costello in concert last night at the pageant theatre. amazing show! he and the band played a really long set and then a 40 minute encore. his voice is still as raw and heart-breakingly soulful as it was when i was new-wave bopping to his music in college. which brings me to my topic for today...how do i get my mind around the fact that i am middle-aged?

last night as we were standing in line to get into the theatre, i looked up and down the line at the other concert-goers. i thought, "wow, this crowd is pretty old!" (i know it was mean, but i'm being honest here and that's what i thought.) kelly pointed out that elvis costello has been making music since the late 1970's. is it possible that i have been rocking to elvis for that long?

seated two rows in front of us was a group of couples. if i had to guess, i would say they were mostly mid to late 40s. all the women had blonde bobbed hair and their menfolk had the haircut of the middle-aged man--short-cropped almost to the scalp. they were all dancing like no one was watching and singing as if they were in their shower at home. kelly and i had almost as much fun watching them as we did listening to elvis! and that's when it dawned on me...these people, my peers, are all young-hearted. most of my friends in their 40s are so free-spirited it is hard to equate their biological age with their ageless wonder. after my "a-ha" moment i stood up and sang along and danced right along with the music.

my aim is true...

more of my man...

the countdown 'til this cutie's birthday has begun.

one week from today is the big 4-3!

after all these years, still the same smile and sweet cheeks!

dog days or is it "daze"...

this weekend i:

• went to a cruise night at chuck-a-burger (for those of you unfamiliar with the "cruise night" concept, it is a gathering of classic cars and their owners). showed off my new car, gracie, ate a delicious coney dog and listened to local band, hudson and the hoo doo cats, while visiting with gram, mom, k & m.
• went to the movies and saw "happy endings," a robert altman-esque movie featuring lisa kudrow, maggie gyllenhaal and tom arnold. it was much better than my pick from last week, "you, me and everyone we know," from newbie director, miranda july.
• went to a wedding reception in illinois--replete with duck dance, electric slide, cha cha slide, grease montage and obligatory dollar dance. at least there was free beer. thanks for the polka, kelly!
• ate brunch at olivette diner with k & m. the crab cake benedict was way too rich!
• weeded, mowed and weed whacked,
• grocery shopped,
• went to the thrift store and bought five 99 cent vintage aprons!
• made the most delicious tacos for dinner,
• went to the batting cages and walloped some medium speed softballs (kelly kicked butt in the baseball medium speed cage!)
• ate some haagen das coffee ice cream while watching the remake of "stepford wives." wow, nicole kidman could really be a stepford wife.

anyone notice the distinct lack of art on this list? yeah, me too. must do something about that this week.