more deep thoughts...

i've been thinking more about the nature of creativity and how the act of creating fills each of us up differently.

for many years i created many things with no intended end-user or recipient. it was the simple act of turning something out that made me feel better. then i began to produce far more than either i or any of my friends, family, or acquaintances could possibly use and to continue in the production of miscellany was bordering on the absurd.

the thought of selling my wares was alternately terrifying and exhilarating. my first foray was trying to sell no less than 20 pairs of embellished sunglasses at a garage sale (looking back on that now, that was so obviously NOT the venue to sell such eclectic items), and was disappointed that i didn't net a profit. it put me off retailing artwork for quite a while.

but in the past five years i've stuck my toe into the cold, invigorating pool of commerce and found it to be both rewarding and daunting. the jury process for high-end craft/art shows can be dreadful. and the thought of doing a kountry kraft show alongside tupperware and window replacement salesmen is a bit sad (i'm not making a judgment about either of those products, i just don't think they have a place in a true "art/craft" show...don't even get me started on the unpleasant presence of the corporate sponsored hucksters at the clayton art fair this year...appalling!). but that being said, i, for the most part, enjoy success when i am fortunate enough to experience it and crestfallen when my coffers remain empty. i'm human. i like to receive positive feedback and when i'm participating in an art show that means people buy my stuff...elegant, simple philosophy.

so after i posted the pics i submitted to the rock and roll craft show, i dithered. were those images really representative of my offerings? would the jury "get" me? what are my chances among younger, hipper artists? as i wrote yesterday, the inner critic is quite a force to be reckoned with.

so i sat with my questions for twenty four hours. i spoke to becky about how i felt. i lay awake in bed last night and reflected. and this morning i came to the conclusion that it is NOT the acceptance that fills me with energy. it continues to be the act of creating that feeds the desire to create. when my tables lay untouched for too long, it is more difficult to jumpstart the engine, so the key is to keep creating. good...bad...spectacular...useful...imaginative stuff. anything, but keep going and moving forward.