obsessions...

it seems i can only devote my energy to one idea/project/distraction at a time.

examples:

• when i get it in my head that my house needs to be clean, i can think of nothing else. what's worse is everyone else who resides in my house with me, must be in total agreement or be banished. yesterday, i 409-d my entire kitchen (including the floor). grease spot, be out! i also gave the cat a bath...yes, i gave the cat a bath. that is how deep the insanity runs when i get this way.
• today is the celebration of a co-worker's birthday. yesterday i baked cupcakes and knew that on my way to the office this morning i was going to stop by the grocer's floral department to pick up a mylar balloon and some daisies. even though i had a plan in place and a sticky note on the front door to serve as a last minute reminder as i left the house, i still tossed and turned all night and even dreamed of my morning to-do list.
• in the shower this morning all i could do was think of the evening's plans. soccer practice for nathaniel, vet appointment for tootsie (my now, very clean cat)--what about me? i need to eat and walk and play! all i kept thinking was "is there going to be time for me?!" i'll probably obsess about my after work plans all day.

and all of this is thought in the context of how grateful i am that i have a house to clean, know where my friend is so that i can bake her cupcakes and my loved ones around me that i can cook for, obsess with and care for.