Monday, October 02, 2006

there's a hole in the bucket...

knitting has done for me what no other craft has been able to do in a very long time...fill me up completely. not only does it allow me to create the most useful items, but it enables me to do them while still interacting with my family.

in the past i sometimes used my need to create as an escape. i would descend into my studio and putter about for hours emerging only for meals. i isolated myself without realizing it until it dawned on me that i hadn't used my voice for hours and my throat would need to be cleared before i could speak again.

these days it's about striking a balance--a difficult task for me because i tend to be a bit obsessive.

for example...i cast on for a new hat on wednesday night. i finished it on friday morning. i cast on for a new felted purse on saturday night. i finished it on sunday afternoon. i cast on for a pair of wrist warmers last night. i'm about to cast off the first one. and i did all of these projects while watching tv, in between laundry, running errands, meals and talking with my family. i didn't have to clear my throat once.

also, knitting is all about possibilities. the yarn i've amassed in my stash represents the future. the pattern book pages i dogear and the websites i visit to check out the latests designs are symbolic of the hope i have for myself. when things seem cloudy and dark, i remind myself that i can't give up because i have so many projects still left to tackle.

and knitting has taught me how to be still. my hands make the stitches but the rest of my body is at rest. no small feat for a woman whose husband describes her as a whirlwind. it is helping me learn to be in the moment...i pay lip service to this tenant but am hard pressed to not be distracted. if i try too hard to multi-task while working through a difficult portion of a project, there is no doubt that section will need to be redone. "this requires attention!" cries the work in my hands. (i read an article a while back. the article said that none of us really multi-task anyway. we do all the things we're trying to do at the same time in a mediocre way and save no time whatsoever. so put that fact in your back pocket for the next time someone wonders why you're so focused and plodding!)

thank you, becky for giving me the gift of knitting! it is a most enduring present and has helped me in ways i cannot describe.

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